When I was kid, the message was clear: Vulnerability meant certain death. Well, maybe my conscious brain didn't have those literal words, but my body certainly knew that truth. You see, there are two ways to know something. You can understand it in your mind, and you can 'get' it in your body. These two experiences are so vastly different that I have chosen to say that a mind 'knowing' is really only a understanding, and the truth is, I can't say that "I know" something until my body 'gets' it and I am living it. For example, I understand that living a balanced life is optimal for health, happiness & creation power. I don't know it. You know how I know I don't know it? Because I don't see the results of that knowing (of that belief system) in my life. This discrepancy of "knowing" is the biggest block that I see to achieving goals (in myself and my clients). When I think I 'already know', then my cup is full, and there is no room for anything new. Change is not possible.
I challenge you to take stock of your life. Look at the the results in your life - and find out what you really know vs what you think you know.
I just took inventory of my life and realized that there was a discrepancy between what I thought I knew and what I really know around vulnerability. I 'understand' that vulnerability is a building block for close relationships. However, when I really look at my life, I don't know this. For the most part my body is still living a belief system from my childhood that sounds something like this, "If I am perfect (without flaw) then I will have love from others." Even when I say this, my mind tells me I am silly and that of course this isn't true. I could even list data to back up how much I understand this. However, when I invite deep honesty to come in and transform my life, I see that all of my thoughts are just that: thoughts. Here is the thing about thoughts, some are true, many are not true, some seem logical, many are convincing, and some are flat out bizarre. They are not ME. So, who am I really, and what tools do I have to help my body learn a new truth? How do I know something new?
I want to move my understanding or vulnerability to a knowing of vulnerability. So, first I am going to be okay with feeling uncomfortable. I am going to accept that I must go outside of my comfort zone to 'get' something new. I am going to remind myself that have traveled outside my comfort zone before and It has only brought me goodness. Sitting in discomfort is a powerful part of the process of change. Just resting here and allowing my conscious presence, my "inner sage" to witness and BE with my current experience is beyond powerful. Then, I am going to allow this presence, this meditation, to lead me to my action step. As I move past fear, and take action in a new way, my body begins to learn a new truth.
What do you want for 2014? Is closer relationship & more self-acceptance part of it? What 'tools' are you using to get the results you desire?
Mindy Amita Aisling
ICF Life Coach,
NFPT Fitness Trainer,
OMA Certified Mediator
Mindy Aisling is a certified life and business coach in Bend, OR, exceeding all of the educational requirements & training set forth by the ICF.
She has worked with such organizations as St. Charles Hospital, Soroptimists, The Dispute Resolution Center, Olympic Medical Center, Americorps, and Juvenile and Family Services.
Mindy has been featured in the New York Times, The Seattle Times, The Bend Bulletin, The Peninsula Daily News, KOMO 4 TV, The Oregonian and many more. You can learn more about Mindy here.
Mindy offers professional, affordable online coaching to clients around the world, and local coaching to clients in Bend, Oregon.
Licensed and Insured