You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You are not your cynicism, your doubt, your hope or your shame. You are bigger than all of those things. You are pure consciousness, a piece of the Divine/God, A higher version of yourself- whatever your beliefs are - there is something inside of you that is bigger than you can perceive. This is the part of you that is watching and observing. Even when you are stuck in your monkey mind, with thoughts swirling around incessantly, there is still a piece of you that is observing those thoughts. Right? I think we've all experienced this.
Here is the big life-changing truth. YOU are always at choice for what you think and how you feel. It's big. If you get this one thing, it will truly change your life. All your thoughts, feelings, cynicism, judgements, attractions, fears... all these things are coming to YOU, bringing YOU messages. You are the decider of what messages are valuable and which ones do not pertain to the current situation.
My thoughts are constantly thinking things that I don't agree with, that won't help me get to where I want to go, and that are not in alignment with my values. I have just as many helpful thoughts, thoughts that move me forward, thoughts that make me feel good. I (the big me, my consciousnesses) gets to choose which ones to listen to, and which ones to allow to float on by.
Some emotions have specific functions. Like cynicism. The job of cynicism is to guard me, to keep me from 'being sold another bill of goods'. What a loving job! However, it will always be looking for why and how something will not work. That's its function! If I believe everything it says, and allow it to be the 'boss' in my life - I will have a very unfulfilling life. So, I listen to what it says, and then I choose if the current situation in my life is a good place to apply it's messages.
My feelings are constantly coming to me, and it is my job to look at the data around me and see if the emotions fit appropriately. A great example of this is taking things personally. When someone says something that I feel hurt by - I can choose to look at their intention, our relationship, my history and beliefs as to why that was a 'trigger' for me, and then I can decide if it is appropriate (and serving me) to feel hurt or angry. Sometimes sadness or anger IS the appropriate emotion, but not always. I (the big I, my wise self) has to be the one deciding.
Who is the 'driver' in your life? Is it YOU? Or, have you allowed this amazing table of attendants (thoughts, feelings, ect, that live within you to be of service to you) to take over the show and become the 'drivers' of YOUR life?
It is not always easy. Some of us have allowed our emotions (especially in certain circumstances) to run the show for so long that it feels foreign and uncomfortable to take back our power. Sometimes when we haven't attended to our self-care and our dreams enough - the general level of our wellness is so low that we get 'pushed around' by our feelings. In this case we need to start with self-love and self-care to get back on track. In some cases we've been through trauma or have a chemical imbalance that keeps us from being able to be at choice. For example, when I was struggling with PTSD I had to be on anti-anxiety medication for a short time, because my emotions were too big for me to handle alone. If this is where you are at, its okay. They good news is that we can all learn emotional discipline. We can all learn to become the drivers in our lives.
When we choose to have our true selves, our conscious selves, step up and 'run the show' all of the sudden we have the power to create the lives we've been dreaming of.
Mindy Amita Aisling
ICF Life Coach,
NFPT Fitness Trainer,
OMA Certified Mediator
Mindy Aisling is a certified life and business coach in Bend, OR, exceeding all of the educational requirements & training set forth by the ICF.
She has worked with such organizations as St. Charles Hospital, Soroptimists, The Dispute Resolution Center, Olympic Medical Center, Americorps, and Juvenile and Family Services.
Mindy has been featured in the New York Times, The Seattle Times, The Bend Bulletin, The Peninsula Daily News, KOMO 4 TV, The Oregonian and many more. You can learn more about Mindy here.
Mindy offers professional, affordable online coaching to clients around the world, and local coaching to clients in Bend, Oregon.
Licensed and Insured