#5 - Choose the truth that feels better
Is it true that you often feel insecure, alone, different, and maybe, sometimes don't even what to leave the house cause you feel so completely icky? Is it also true that you've faced your fears, accomplished goals, and felt deeply connected to others? Of course this kind of dichotomy goes on for you, it's the human experience! Often we choose to focus on the negative "truth" about who we are, and we make the THE truth about ourselves in our mind. If you choose to believe and focus on the truth that results in you feeling better (more happy, confident & secure) you will be able to step into being more YOU (the authentic you)! So, the next time you find yourself thinking about your negative "truths" - remember they are not THE truth - just one of the truths. Think about the positive "truths" about yourself and choose
#4 -Do what you love, and love what you do
Being Authentic is about living with your heart wide open. When you are able to do this, doing what you love and loving what you do comes naturally! So, what are some easy ways to get into your heart? 1.Think of a positive experience and let the memory of that emotion fill you up.
2. Train your brain see the positive. In every situation, think of at least 5 positives (about the job, the person, the situation).
3. Fully engage. It's hard to be fully engaged in something and also upset or frustrated.
4. Give to others - ALL of the time (even if it's just a smile or a kind word.)
#3 -See perfection, rather then do perfection
Many of us are perfectionist. We want everything to be perfect, and usually have decided (in our subconscious belief systems) that when we achieve that perfection, we can give ourselves permission to be happy, feel good about ourselves, or relax for a moment. The problem is that doing everything perfectly never happens. But don't worry - you don't have to give up being a perfectionist to be happy - you just have to choose to SEE perfection rather then DO perfection. What if everything is perfect the way it is right now, and every hardship and pain that you've had is exactly what needed to happen to prepare you for what is next in your life? How would you conduct your life if everything was already perfect? If you noticed your mind finding fault with things, passing judgement like it does, you would have to admit that it is your thinking that is wrong, not reality. And, you would also have to admit that your thinking being wrong is also part of the perfection of reality. So, in a sense, the street saying “it’s all good” is about the wisest 3 words out there. You're welcome to adopt it as your mantra. I did.
#2 - Know what you need to feel alive, and do it
Too many people don't know what they REALLY need to feel alive and thriving in their lives. Do you? Can you say in 3-5 words the experience that you need to really have a juicy experience of life? For one person it might be deeply connecting to another, for someone else it might be time alone. For another it might be competition, being center stage or feeling fluid and unstructured. Another individual might need structure, security, or spirituality to feel alive. Each person is unique and different! What is your recipe for feeling alive? To live authentically you must not only know your core needs - you must take 100% (Yup, 100%) for getting those needs met. It's not the responsibility of yo' mama, your daddy, your sweetie or your sister. The power is in YOUR hands!
#1 - Be Transparent
The #1 way that you can live an authentic life is to be completely transparent. What the heck does that mean - right? It means that at any given moment I am completely and utterly honest about what is going on inside my being. Including any feelings, thoughts, experiences, fears, etc. It could mean telling your husband/wife, "Oh my gosh, I am totally blaming you right now for my unhappiness & it sucks, I'm sorry." or telling a co-worker, "I just realized that I was making things in my life sound better then they actually are because I wanted you to like me." or perhaps something like, "I'm sorry, I just lied to you. That's not who I want to be. The truth is...."
- Do you get it? It's big - it's risky - AND... It will change your life.
America. The land of the free. The place where you too can work hard and become a millionaire - or can you? And, if you do, are you happier for it? Is the world a better place? Today, people in cities and towns everywhere in the US read reports of another jump in unemployment, another recession looming in the background, hardship for those already effecting, and fear for those not yet effected. Is this really the way we want to live? Is this crisis pushing us toward a "shift"? If so, is it a shift we are ready to make? Are we going to move forward into a new age with grace, or will we desperately hang on to the way we used to do things, resulting in tragedy and loss on many levels?
grow to eat? How much do you buy local? When was the last time that you bought into mainstream marketing and allowed yourself to buy and eat things that didn't support your health & the overall good? The way you live everyday results in the world that you live in. What are you creating?
In the documentary I AM by Tom Shadyac (director for movies like Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty) he explores the question, "What's wrong with the world?" In a fascinating journey with a 4-man camera crew, he finds the answer. "I AM". When I take more then I need, when I live in fear of scarcity, when I want to be on top above others, when I spend my money with companies whose practices harm other people and the world, when I judge, when I hate.... I shape the 'problems' of the world.
Where are you today? Are you focused on possibilities and solutions? Are you focused on fear and scarcity? Are you focused on you - or are you focused on us? What are your belief systems about working? abundance? your right to exist? As the world changes, will you shift with grace or resistance?
Amanda said, "I think when we really see each other, we want to help each other". I agree. However, this requires allowing other people to REALLY see us. It means that we must stop hiding behind our image of who we want to be. When is the last time that you were completely transparent about your needs, values, desires, feelings & faults? Allowing yourself to be really 'seen' takes courage. It takes risk and it takes trust. Many of
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Yesterday I realized that I wanted someone to give me permission to be lazy. I would have been ecstatic if my husband had come up to me and said,
"Hey Love, why don't you sit around the house today, stay in your pj's until noon, and then have a beer with lunch, and take a nap outside in the sun."
Ah, pheww.... now I can go about my life the way I want to without feeling guilty.
Hahaha... as if I was not the master of my own life. As if another person could decide better for me what I wanted, and what my body, soul and mind needed at that exact moment.
In the same way, I waited until I was 30 before I realized that no one was going to come out and give me permission to be bright and shiny - big, famous and in the spotlight. In fact, they might even put a negative label on me, like "show-off" or "conceded". But wait - whose life is this anyway?
It's so strange, I see it all the time (in myself and others)... this waiting for permission. As if we are sitting in the waiting room (some uneventful purgatory) waiting for permission to live our lives. To make the choices we want. To be happy. To relax, to feel good, to move on, to say no, to leave, to stay, to say yes, to have the career we want, marry who we want, to spend our time as we choose.
It's like a plague, I see it infecting my clients, my friends, to co-workers. People are waiting for permission from their parents(even when they are in their 60's), their husbands, their wives, the boss, the government, society, God, their kids, the news, and the ever ambiguous "they".
Did you know that this waiting is seriously effecting our world and our planet? The fact is that we need more people living their dream, doing what they want, loving who they choose, listening to their intuition & allowing it to guide their actions, taking the time to rest and be, we need people to become the masters of their own lives.
So, I challenge you: Do what you want, when you want, and feel good about it. - You have my permission.
This weekend I got to be a part of Port Angeles's yearly community event: KIDSFEST! It was so much fun to join with other agencies and businesses to support Olympic Peninsula families! I was out in the Parent Resource Section with KIC Coaching and Empowered2Be Coaching. We had the opportunity to talk to lots of parents and kids and tell them about all of the cool workshops and events that we have coming up!
Community is such a great thing to be a part of. Did you know that the word Community means "together -gift" The word "community" is derived from the Old French communité which is derived from the Latin communitas (cum, "with/together" + munus, "gift") - Neat huh? I believe that when we work and play together - everyone receives the gift! This is one of the reasons that my life is committed to creating win/win relationships, and helping others to do the same!
Mindy Amita Aisling
ICF Life Coach,
NFPT Fitness Trainer,
OMA Certified Mediator
Mindy Aisling is a certified life and business coach in Bend, OR, exceeding all of the educational requirements & training set forth by the ICF.
She has worked with such organizations as St. Charles Hospital, Soroptimists, The Dispute Resolution Center, Olympic Medical Center, Americorps, and Juvenile and Family Services.
Mindy has been featured in the New York Times, The Seattle Times, The Bend Bulletin, The Peninsula Daily News, KOMO 4 TV, The Oregonian and many more. You can learn more about Mindy here.
Mindy offers professional, affordable online coaching to clients around the world, and local coaching to clients in Bend, Oregon.
Licensed and Insured