#5 - Choose the truth that feels better
Is it true that you often feel insecure, alone, different, and maybe, sometimes don't even what to leave the house cause you feel so completely icky? Is it also true that you've faced your fears, accomplished goals, and felt deeply connected to others? Of course this kind of dichotomy goes on for you, it's the human experience! Often we choose to focus on the negative "truth" about who we are, and we make the THE truth about ourselves in our mind. If you choose to believe and focus on the truth that results in you feeling better (more happy, confident & secure) you will be able to step into being more YOU (the authentic you)! So, the next time you find yourself thinking about your negative "truths" - remember they are not THE truth - just one of the truths. Think about the positive "truths" about yourself and choose
#4 -Do what you love, and love what you do
Being Authentic is about living with your heart wide open. When you are able to do this, doing what you love and loving what you do comes naturally! So, what are some easy ways to get into your heart? 1.Think of a positive experience and let the memory of that emotion fill you up.
2. Train your brain see the positive. In every situation, think of at least 5 positives (about the job, the person, the situation).
3. Fully engage. It's hard to be fully engaged in something and also upset or frustrated.
4. Give to others - ALL of the time (even if it's just a smile or a kind word.)
#3 -See perfection, rather then do perfection
Many of us are perfectionist. We want everything to be perfect, and usually have decided (in our subconscious belief systems) that when we achieve that perfection, we can give ourselves permission to be happy, feel good about ourselves, or relax for a moment. The problem is that doing everything perfectly never happens. But don't worry - you don't have to give up being a perfectionist to be happy - you just have to choose to SEE perfection rather then DO perfection. What if everything is perfect the way it is right now, and every hardship and pain that you've had is exactly what needed to happen to prepare you for what is next in your life? How would you conduct your life if everything was already perfect? If you noticed your mind finding fault with things, passing judgement like it does, you would have to admit that it is your thinking that is wrong, not reality. And, you would also have to admit that your thinking being wrong is also part of the perfection of reality. So, in a sense, the street saying “it’s all good” is about the wisest 3 words out there. You're welcome to adopt it as your mantra. I did.
#2 - Know what you need to feel alive, and do it
Too many people don't know what they REALLY need to feel alive and thriving in their lives. Do you? Can you say in 3-5 words the experience that you need to really have a juicy experience of life? For one person it might be deeply connecting to another, for someone else it might be time alone. For another it might be competition, being center stage or feeling fluid and unstructured. Another individual might need structure, security, or spirituality to feel alive. Each person is unique and different! What is your recipe for feeling alive? To live authentically you must not only know your core needs - you must take 100% (Yup, 100%) for getting those needs met. It's not the responsibility of yo' mama, your daddy, your sweetie or your sister. The power is in YOUR hands!
#1 - Be Transparent
The #1 way that you can live an authentic life is to be completely transparent. What the heck does that mean - right? It means that at any given moment I am completely and utterly honest about what is going on inside my being. Including any feelings, thoughts, experiences, fears, etc. It could mean telling your husband/wife, "Oh my gosh, I am totally blaming you right now for my unhappiness & it sucks, I'm sorry." or telling a co-worker, "I just realized that I was making things in my life sound better then they actually are because I wanted you to like me." or perhaps something like, "I'm sorry, I just lied to you. That's not who I want to be. The truth is...."
- Do you get it? It's big - it's risky - AND... It will change your life.
Mindy Amita Aisling
ICF Life Coach,
NFPT Fitness Trainer,
OMA Certified Mediator
Mindy Aisling is a certified life and business coach in Bend, OR, exceeding all of the educational requirements & training set forth by the ICF.
She has worked with such organizations as St. Charles Hospital, Soroptimists, The Dispute Resolution Center, Olympic Medical Center, Americorps, and Juvenile and Family Services.
She has been featured in the New York Times, The Seattle Times, The Bend Bulletin, The Peninsula Daily News, KOMO 4 TV, The Oregonian and many more. You can learn more about Mindy here.
Mindy offers professional, affordable online coaching to clients around the world, and local coaching to clients in Bend, Oregon.
Licensed and Insured